The importance of knowing the lies of relationships will guide us in making better decisions.
My heart broke for her. I could almost feel the knife pierce my heart as I listened to her describe the lies that ended the relationship. They were the same lies that had made her love to begin with. Now they are making her hate and doubt herself.
I have been there. Several times. So desperate to be loved and to have the void in my life filled, I listened to the lies that told me this is the one. It is all beautiful in the beginning. But when we are not paying attention to the lies that eventually break our hearts and leave us in utter dismay, we end up in one relationship after the other, looking for ‘the one’ to fill the void.
On our journey of truth, Jesus will show us a different way of looking at relationships and will expose the lies that rule in our choices.
Table of Contents
What are the Lies of Relationships?
The lies I am talking about are two-fold. They are the lies others tell us to trick us into loving them and the lies we tell ourselves to keep us from leaving a person we know is bad for us.
The misconceptions of the lies of relationships are that there is no escape. We have decided that this is just the way it is. We believe these lies to be the only way for self-worth in a relationship. We come to a place that we believe we don’t deserve better.
We also think these lies only relate within romantic relationships, when in reality, lies affect all of our relationships.
How to Get Started Recognizing Lies of Relationships
It’s timewe learn what these lies are and how to get rid of them. We need to put truth in our decision making when choosing who to have a relationship with. Some relationships are not a choice, like who our family is.
But we choose our romantic partners and who are friends are. Learning the lies of relationships and putting the steps in practice when forming relationships with others will help us have strong, healthy relationships.
Tips for Knowing the Lies of Relationships
There are several tips to help us recognize the lies of relationships, but I have found the greatest truths to be found in Jesus. We can learn who God is through Jesus and studying his word. I have tried following the tips learned in my younger days, which all turned out to be lies.
When I started a relationship with my Heavenly Father, He exposed the lies I had been living.
Common Questions/FAQ About Relationships
Here at Dangers Ahead, we attempt to answer your questions about the lies of relationships. Below are some questions that we will cover in the coming weeks. I have answered a few of them briefly in this blog, but will expand more in future blogs. Be sure to subscribe to Dangers Ahead to be notified so you don’t miss a post.
What Makes a Relationship?
There are so many questions about relationships, like what is actual love? Does true love exist? But when I researched the question, what makes a relationship, the answers amazed me. I read lists of things needed to make a happy relationship and other lists named certain attributes needed to make a great relationship.
The problem I see with these answers are the lies that tell us we are always going to be happy if we do these things, or our relationship isn’t great if we are missing any of the attributes listed.
A big mistake we make is basing our happiness on a relationship. The other mistake is giving up on the relationship because some attributes that are ‘supposed’ to be there are missing. What if God had given up on us when Adam and Eve sinned?
He could have just wiped them out and went back to the void it was before he created everything, and man in it. But He left life on earth to continue because He wants a relationship with us.
If we look to God and learn who He is and how to have a relationship with Him, I bet we will make a better choice in who our friends and romantic partners are.
Efforts in Relationship
In relationships, it takes the effort of all parties involved to make the relationship work. Some lies I see about the efforts in relationships are:
- They will put more effort in after marriage
- We should end the marriage if the other person stops putting in the effort
- We are to expect effort from the other person to never end
First, if there is no effort being made before you say ‘I do’ there will be none after they say the vows. We should never let the others’ lack of effort be a reason to go to divorce court. I have found from experience that divorce happens too easily these days. A lot has to do with the lie of relationships that are easily believed. Last, going into any relationship with expectancies of the other person to fulfill, well, anything really, is already setting you up for a lifetime of relationship lies.
Messing up a Relationship
When we make a mistake in a relationship, are we quick to admit it? Do we forgive the other person quickly when they make a mistake? A lie I’ve lived, maybe you have too, is thinking that it is okay not to forgive others when they mess up. Depending on the damage done, we can hold a grudge for a very long time.
If we stay in the relationship without forgiveness, the mistake made becomes an issue that comes up repeatedly, which only adds more strain. When a relationship ends without forgiveness, it leaves us with emotional baggage that we carry on to the next relationship.
Of course, we already know Jesus tells us to forgive others. Watch for more blogs that answer some questions about messing up such as what to do after making a mistake, what to say when you made a mistake and can all mistakes be forgiven?
Reasons to End a Relationship
Can there be valid reasons that lead to a breakup? If so, what are good reasons to end a relationship? How do you know if it’s time to end a relationship? I need to answer from God’s perspective.
There are too many relationships that just give up and move on with really no valid reason. And then there are some relationships that should have ended years before, but didn’t. Looking at the relationships through the eyes of Jesus is how I finally validated my choice in relationships. Watch for the post that explains how.
The Last Thing You Need to Know About Lies of Relationships
Learning the lies of relationships is important if we want to make healthy choices. God wants a relationship with us and by letting Jesus show us the truth, we will learn how to have meaningful relationships that will last for eternity.
Be sure to subscribe to Dangers Ahead to be notified by email when the next blog posts. Thank you for taking this journey of truth with me. I look forward to helping you rise above!